Grief and Loss: Finding Language for the Unspeakable

Grief is the price of loving somebody. It is not a problem to be solved. It is not a symptom to be medicated away. It is a natural human response to loss — and the loss does not have to be a death for the grief to be real.

What grief can look like

Waves that come without warning — in the middle of a class, at the sound of a certain song, in the aisle of a supermarket. Days that feel almost normal followed by days that feel unbearable. Anger, sometimes at the person you have lost, sometimes at yourself. Physical exhaustion. Difficulty concentrating. A strange, quiet loneliness even in company.

There is no correct shape

Some people cry every day. Some do not cry at all. Some want to talk about the person constantly; some cannot bear to hear their name. All of this is grief. The idea of neat "stages" is a rough map, not a schedule — people move back and forth between them, and there is no gold star for reaching the last one.

JMHS was born of grief

JMHS itself exists because a family and a community lost Jude Anuoluwa in 2021. The founders chose not to let that loss become a statistic. If you are grieving, please know that people who understand are here. The wound does not disappear — but it becomes something you carry, rather than something that carries you.

What helps

Being with people who let you be sad without trying to cheer you up. Rituals, small and large, that honour the person you have lost. Movement, sleep, water — the body carries grief too. Writing, if you find it useful. And, when grief is dragging you into a place where you cannot function or you are having thoughts of self-harm, professional support — see our directory and, for anything urgent, our emergency page.

You are allowed to still be grieving. You are allowed to laugh again while you grieve. Both things are true.