Suicide Prevention 101: What Every Family Should Know

JMHS exists because a family lost Jude Anuoluwa to suicide in 2021. Our founding conviction is simple: no other family should have to face what his did without first knowing what to look for and what to do. This article is written in that spirit.

Warning signs that deserve a conversation

Not everyone who is suicidal shows the same signs, but common ones include: talking or writing about wanting to die, feeling like a burden, expressing hopelessness or feeling trapped, withdrawing from family and friends, giving away possessions, saying goodbye in unusual ways, sudden calm after a period of deep distress, and increased use of alcohol or other substances. A single sign is a reason to check in. Several together are a reason to act.

What to say

You will not "put the idea in their head" by asking. Direct, warm questions save lives: "Are you thinking of ending your life?" "Are you safe right now?" "Do you have a plan?" Listen without panic. Do not argue. Do not promise to keep it a secret — you may need to involve others to keep them safe.

What not to say

Avoid dismissive lines like "you have so much to live for," "other people have it worse," "this is just a phase," or any suggestion that the pain is not real. These land as being unheard, which is often the opposite of what a struggling person needs.

What to do

Do not leave them alone. Remove immediate access to means of harm if you safely can. Contact a mental health professional — see our directory. If there is immediate danger, go to your nearest emergency department or call the numbers on our emergency support page. Involve at least one other trusted adult; this is not something to carry alone.

After a crisis

Recovery is not linear. Continue to check in in small, regular ways. Ask how they are — and mean it. Encourage them to stay in professional care. And take care of yourself, too; supporting a loved one through a crisis is exhausting, and you deserve support of your own.